Rules of the Mess

  1. Thou shalt arrive within 10 minutes of the appointed hour.
  2. Thou shalt make every effort to meet all guests.
  3. Thou shalt move to the mess when thee hears the chimes and remain standing until seated by the President.
  4. Thou shalt not bring cocktails or lighted smoking material into the mess.
  5. Thou shalt smoke only when the smoking lamp is lit.
  6. Thou shalt not leave the mess whilst convened. Military protocol overrides all calls of nature.
  7. Thou shalt participate in all toasts unless thyself or thy group is honored with a toast.
  8. Thou shalt ensure that thy glass is always charged when toasting.
  9. Thou shalt keep toasts and comments within the limits of good taste and mutual respect. Degrading or insulting remarks will be frowned upon by the membership. However, good-natured needling is encouraged.
  10. Thou shalt not murder the Queen’s English.
  11. Thou shalt not open the hangar doors. (talk about work)
  12. Thou shalt always use the proper toasting procedures.
  13. Thou shalt fall into disrepute with thy peers if the pleats of thy cummerbund are not properly faced.
  14. Thou shalt also be painfully regarded if the clip-on bow tie rides at an obvious list. Thou shalt be forgiven, however, if thee also ride at a comparable list.
  15. Thou shalt consume thy meal in a manner becoming gentlepersons.
  16. Thou shalt not laugh at ridiculously funny comments unless the President first shows approval by laughing.
  17. Thou shalt express thy approval by tapping thy spoon on the table. Clapping of thy hands will not be tolerated.
  18. Thou shalt not question the decisions of the President.
  19. When the mess adjourns, thou shalt rise and wait for the President and head table guests to leave.
  20. Thou shalt enjoy thyself to thy fullest.